Drafts to Discipline

Start writing… my publisher dashboard hints for the past 2 years…

and well I stopped (writing and posting here) & here I am back again, I read all of my few posts from 2022 & one from 2023 - I’ve accepted I will always be critical of my own works, but reading them all just now while it’s midnight and I’m wide awake typing away with this blue light glaring at my face, I know I should’ve never stopped. I feel as though I’ve lived my writing in different ways - turning 30, shifting my mindset, celebrations, digital diaries, failed 75 hard challenges, content creation, investing time in friendships, turning 31, the five minute journal & many more things in between.

…but I will always come back to writing, to poetry of the rhythm of life, to words overflowing in my over-thinker mind, to the stories aching to be told, to be heard. I can’t let this be a draft unposted. my uncomfortable relationship with discipline has to end - it has to end because I’m in this part of my life where I can painfully, truthfully, repeatedly, freely admit I have been standing in my own way. holding myself back. carrying the weight of ripple effects because I built a dam, when it could’ve been a crashing wave of bliss, of inspiration, of epiphanies of opposing opinions, or maybe of nothing, but the result, the reactions are beyond my grasp. my grasp is getting in touch with discipline - the root of it. it’s my chosen word for the year 2025 and I know and I don’t know why at the same time. i am absolutely exhilaratingly, terrified.

MUSINGS AND MOMENTS IN THE FLOW OF LIFE:

- substack has changed these past two years and im looking forward to learning all the new things!

- where we live pretty much skipped the autumn season, but i feel like an excited creature who lives in a cozy burrow for the winter months ahead.

- what i wrote down on my notes while watching moana 2.

- it’s december 1st. 24 days until Christmas. 30 days until a new year. fill it with beautiful memories.

- lastly .. yesterday, yesterday… SOON!

Jelah Dawn of meet the dawn ✹